Monster Monday: Yoga Hosers

Yoga Hosers tells the tale of two Canadian Millennials (both named Colleen) who work at the local Eh-2-Zed Convenience Store, frequent strip mall yoga classes, and also have to defend their town from an army of Nazi monsters. Yes. You read that correctly, Canadian Nazi monsters.

From the always-crazy mind of Kevin Smith, Yoga Hosers is the second installment of a potential Canadian trilogy series that started with the also insane Tusk, which is vaguely referenced in this film too. I didn’t know this was a Kevin Smith movie when I started it, but the first thing I noticed was the cast. Literally everyone is in this movie. It’s insane. Johnny Depp (who is pretty much doing a French Bartok impression from Anastasia), Natasha Lyonne, Justin Long, Tony Hale, Kevin Smith, Haley Joel Osment, Tyler Posey, Austin Butler, Lily-Rose Depp, and Harley Quinn Smith (the last two happen to be the daughters of Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp). They even got a Stan Lee cameo. How the hell did they get Stan Lee to be in a movie about mini-Nazi monsters? I was clearly impressed.

On that note, this movie is stupid, but I think it knows it’s dumb and it really loves it. Tusk is also ridiculous, but it was more cringe-worthy as a horror flick. This one had a few cool moments; the final monster is kind of cool, even though the girls fight it with…yoga. There are a few bits that really work. Tony Hale is hilarious. Justin Long as the yogi made me laugh. Still, there is a lot that feels just dumb. The girls have a band, and their vocal numbers (one of which starts the movie) are pretty terrible. It ends up feeling like the girls are trying to set up a music reel to start their eventual pop careers. They aren’t good. And they sing for a while. Including an entire Styx number. It’s just a lot.

Overall, it’s a pretty stupid movie, and the dialogue is rough at times. Like really bad. Sometimes it felt like Lily-Rose and Harley Quinn wrote their own dialogue, and not in a good natural way, but a weird stilted dialogue way. It’s a enjoyable hour and a half, but its so crazy and off the rails that eventually you kind of go with it. Is this Oscar-bait? No. But it’s a perfectly good way to (probably get stoned) and spend 90 minutes of your time. That’s what this movie is all aboot, eh. (If you don’t like fake Canadian accents, this is not the movie for you).

Amy’s Recommendation: 4/10

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